Not On My Own

Spinning off of last month’s post on the importance of human touch,  I am sharing with you a video down below of a song I wrote about needing a friend when you’re really down and out.  This is a thank you to those who have come alongside of me when I was sick and a reminder to all of us to take the time to be a friend to someone who can’t help themselves.

I hope you like it.  I would appreciate some feedback if to let me know if any of the songs I share with you resonates with you in some way or needs some improvement.

On a similar note, I have a friend in the Philippines who is very much in need of a plasma dialysis.  Unfortunately, over there, she can’t get the treatment without having the funds for it and she is already so much in debt due to medical bills.  We’ve created a gofundme site to help her out.  She needs at least about $1000 to get her dialysis, which is already overdue.  If you are able to  give even just $5, that would be a great help.  And you can do that RIGHT HERE!

Thank you, enjoy the song and have a blessed week!

A Touch-y Subject

Have you ever resisted the urge to hug someone, because for some reason or another you were ashamed to do so?  You automatically think of alibis even though your intention is pure and out of genuine care and love for a friend, even a stranger?  I’m sure, at one time or another, I have.

In fact, I had to go through  a short season in my teenage years, where being hugged by a friend and churchmate felt really awkward.  Yet, she kept doing it so I decided I just had to get used to it.

The strange part is that touch is very common in our family.  We hugged each other all the time and I never went through a phase where I was ashamed to kiss my Mom and Dad or even hold their hands in public.  I still do it as an adult!

Maybe it’s because we hear so many negative things about human touch that some of us steer clear of them until we know a person well enough to not hide how much we care.  (Especially at work, where who knows who is going to sue you for what?)

In Dr. Caroline Leaf’s blog post on “Toxic Touch As Part of the ‘Dirty Dozen,'” she states, “A human connection is one of the most important elements in living in community with one another. However, toxic touch turns what is supposed to be a healing and healthy human connection into an ugly area of gift-blocking.”

When you see the words toxic and touch put together, it’s easy to conclude that it only refers to inappropriate touch; but that’s only one side of the coin.

She also states, “We know how hurtful abuse can be, when touch is harmful. And that is never, ever acceptable. But sometimes we don’t realize that another aspect of toxic touch is actually the lack of touch.”

“…sometimes we don’t realize that another aspect of toxic touch is actually the lack of touch.” -#DrCarolineLeaf

“In fact, just as inappropriate touch affects our gift, the lack of touch (called ‘cutaneous deprivation’) will also affect our gifts through toxic emotions, thoughts and choices. Even physical growth and the immune system are weakened.”

Wow!

I have never felt the need for touch as much as I did during the first several months of my recovering from a concussion.  I was so sensitive to noise and light that I couldn’t watch TV, read a book and using my phone was kept to a minimal as it was difficult.  Even conversations were taxing.  Some folks didn’t want to bother me, because I needed rest; which was true.

But I also needed touch, someone to hold my hand or give me a hug, even for just a few seconds or a minute.  Someone to help me feel alive even if I was hardly capable of any activity.  At one point, I felt so deprived of human touch that when I ended up in the ER for the third time since my accident and the doctor had me reach for his finger as part of the routine test of my nervous system, I reached for that finger like it was my lifeline.  In my mind, I was relieved to have a finger to hold even for a second!

A few months later, during one of my terrible setbacks, a friend came by to visit.  Seeing the terrible state I was in and that I could hardly talk, she held my hand for a long time and then proceeded to prepare us some dinner.  We didn’t have to have a long talk.  Her touch and her presence alone was such a blessing, it gave me hope.  And for the other ones that have given me a hug here and there and held my hand, I am very thankful and grateful.  You don’t know what a difference you’ve made in my life.

The truth is, everyone needs a hug from time to time, whether it’s someone you haven’t seen in a long time, or someone you see every day.  If your intentions are pure, and especially if you feel the Holy Spirit leading you, go ahead and give that hug.  It may be the very thing that person needs to go on with life.

*If you have enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends.

The 2 Top Priorities in Life

You know that moment when you think that you’re at the end of your life and all the things you know you’re supposed to do haven’t been done yet?  All of a sudden, you find yourself squirming to God, “Okay, okay, I’ll do that thing you’ve been asking me to do.”

And if that isn’t enough to rise you up from what seems to be your deathbed, you start haggling with God for more time?

“But I haven’t finished that book yet!”  Meaning the one you’ve been ignoring for the past year and a half.

Or

“I still have songs to write, record and sing.  Who’s going to sing the songs I have written?”  Like you’re some da Vinci of music when there are a million out there who write and sing better than you do.

It’s a bit funny really to think like you’re some kind of special character that’s supposed to give a contribution to humanity when you’ve wasted a lot of time on unimportant things or maybe important things, but not the ones God has assigned to you.

I’m not saying you are not special, but that you are not more special than another.  You are limited.  Your time is limited and could, in fact, be up any minute.

If the question you find yourself asking when you think your life is at a balance is “Is this it?  Surely this is not the end of my life?” you know you have not yet lived a full life.

If you find yourself asking “Is this it? Surely this is not the end of my life?” you know you have not yet lived a full life.

Even though a part of you knows God can use anyone to write the same message or songs you think you were meant to write, (or fill in the blank as to what applies to you), a part of you still wants to know that you’ve made some kind of dent in history, that your life was not a waste.

In that moment, you realize what are really most important.  I mean, you kind of knew before, but now you know for sure.  Suddenly, priorities line up and God becomes so much bigger and ultimately the Only One you truly need.  Money and things hardly matter.  Even an introvert and a loner craves being with people, somebody, anybody.  When the distractions of TV, computer, phones, books and capabilities are taken away, God and people become top priority.

No wonder the Ten Commandments can be summed up to loving God and loving people! (Matt. 22:37-40; Luke 10:27)

If you haven’t come face to face with the possibility of your life ending any minute, don’t wait until a life-threatening or a debilitating accident wakes you up from your cruise-controlled life.  Trust me, it ain’t fun.

You may think you know your priorities, but in reality, the use of your time show what you truly prioritize.

Now is the time to have a talk with the Holy Spirit and allow Him to work His priorities in your life.

In truth, even a tragedy does not guarantee you will change your ways permanently.  Only the Holy Spirit can help us keep our priorities straight.  I know, because once you start feeling better, it’s easy to go back into cruise control and stop fighting to do what is best in the time entrusted to you.

Would you pray for me in this regard as I pray also that God would give you a clear direction as to the best use of the time He has given you on earth?

My Nephew Enjoying Hillsong United’s “Oceans”

http://ctt.ec/d27U5

With all the news about Planned Parenthood’s gruesome practices, it is sad to think how far gone humanity has become.  What once was done out in the open – the sacrificing of infants to Molech by the Phoenicians and Canaanites – to appease a god is now done in “secrecy” to appease our own selfish desires, if you know what I mean.  They say it helps women, so they can be in control of their own bodies.

In our quest to be in control of our lives, finances, or whatever other reason, it has come to mean giving up babies; which most of us Christians have detested for years.  Now, we have gone even further as to use their parts for the quest of science and even more greed on the part of those performing the abortions.

I say “we”, because it is our responsibility to pray for our society and we are not necessarily off the hook for letting this out of hand.  It’s easy to point our fingers to those doing the crime, but the question is what have we done to stop what’s going on?  (Tweet this http://ctt.ec/GT7dp )

So, this post really is more to urge folks to pray and also to do something practical.  You can go to http://www.frcaction.org/alerts and send an email, already prepared by Family Research Council, to your Senators.

To get to the title of this post and make the mood a little lighter, I thought I’d share a video of my nephew enjoying the bridge and chorus of his favorite song that I played and sang for him on the piano.  I am so glad to have the privilege of having him grow up in my home for the last couple of months.  Babies are so precious and I hope we can always remember that. (Tweet this http://ctt.ec/d27U5)

Here’s the link in case the video below won’t show…   https://youtu.be/pLC5YCN4Fl0

WOULD YOU GO TO HELL FOR SOMEONE ELSE?

Would you, literally, utterly and sincerely, be willing to go to hell for or with someone?

Would you go to hell for someone else?

What kind of question is that? You might ask.

People die for one another, or for a nation, or for a cause. But would someone willingly give their place in hell for the sake of another?  Or would someone identify with someone else’s sin and choose to be with someone in hell rather than with God in heaven.

I was reading Exodus 32 and realized the depth of Moses’ request from God in verse 32. “‘But now, if Thou wilt forgive their sin – and if not, blot me, I pray Thee from Thy book which Thou hast written.'” (RSV, 1952) 

Israel had just turned their backs on the God that delivered them out of the hand of the Egyptians. They exchanged Him for a lifeless golden calf, something even less than a human being.

Moses, being the savior-type that he is, offered to be removed from God’s book of life for these ungrateful people if God will not forgive them. On one hand, it is admirable. You can see his dedication to those he was leading.  He was willing to go down with them.

On the other hand, he was not perfect.  He did not qualify as savior nor could he be the atonement for these people. That was not his calling.  Going to hell for and with them would not do any good.

In verse 33 & 34 it says, “But the Lord said to Moses, ‘Whoever has sinned against me, I will blot out of my book. But now go, lead the people to the place about which I have spoken to you…'”

His calling was to lead and teach them God’s statutes here on earth. Their eternal salvation was up to God.

There is only One Savior and Atonement – Jesus Christ.

It is not you. It is not I.

Yes, let’s evangelize, intercede, and lead people to the River of Life; but rest assured that we don’t have to take anyone’s place in hell.

Jesus already did. And hell couldn’t hold Him, so He now sits at the right hand of the Father.

4 DEMANDS OF INDEPENDENCE

4 DEMANDS OF INDEPENDENCE

From birth to old age, there is always the nagging desire to be INDEPENDENT.

Babies, for instance, do not have a concept of other people’s schedules.  In the very first few weeks, they are independent in the sense that you can’t control their feeding or pooping times.

When babies become children, they can’t wait until they can do things on their own.

Teenagers can’t wait until they become adults, independent of their parents.

At some point adulthood brings the rude awakening of responsibility.  So, they start saving up and waiting for the time when they retire so that they can do whatever they want, whenever they want, wherever they want.

Why do we have this nagging feeling?  I think it’s because we quite often, and rightly so, equate independence to freedom.  The problem arises when we focus on highlighting freedom and not balancing it out with the demands of independence.

The problem arises when we focus on highlighting freedom and not balancing it out with the demands of independence.

Look at the rise of the Indie industry, for instance.  You’ve got your Indie artists, Indie authors, Indie films, and I’ll mix into that your solopreneurs.  Who knows what other types of Indies are out there?  On the outside, it looks like this makes it possible for anybody to get into whatever industry they want.  There are no music labels, publishers, corporations, nor bosses to please.  However, on the inside, there are a multitude of demands to be fulfilled to get you onto a successful road.  You don’t have the resources, expertise, connections, etc., that the bigger corporations have.  So you can appreciate the ones that have been very successful as Indies as you know there’s been a lot of hard work that brought them to where they are.

It’s the same with an independent nation.  This weekend, we are celebrating the 239^th year of America’s independence from Great Britain.  When this nation was born, we weren’t very wealthy, but a lot of work was put in by our forefathers to make us a successful nation.

With that in mind, I’d like to reflect on the independence of the nation of Israel from Egypt centuries prior.  What did it take for them to form a new nation, independent of her 400 year master?  What were the demands of their independence?

1. Someone to followRemember when Moses went up the mountain and he was there so many days? They felt lost without their leader. In Exodus 31:1 they told Aaron, “…’Come make us a god who will go before us; as for this Moses, the man who brought us up from the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.’” (NAS)

   Not only that, you’ve got Judges 21:25 telling us that “In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” This was many years into their being an independent nation in the Promised Land.

   They needed someone that could show them they didn’t have to be slaves forever. God had other plans for them and they needed someone to lead them the way to the Promised Land.

2. Someone/something to worshipWhen they lost sight of their leader, they also lost sight of the God that delivered them with a mighty hand out of Egypt. A lifeless golden calf was no comparison to the One who parted the Red Sea for them, but they were desperate for someone or something to call their leader and worship as their god.

   In the course of their history, there were times when they either worshipped God or worshipped other gods. Either way, they were always worshipping Someone or something. In other words, they knew that they needed a power outside of themselves to keep them safe, healthy and make them prosper. When they turned their backs from God and attributed that power to other gods, they faced calamities and disasters. Eventually, they were brought into captivity and lost their independence.

3. Structure They needed laws to maintain peace and order. These God gave to them in the very beginning of their nationhood. When they strayed away from them, they got into trouble.
4. SustenanceAs an independent nation, they needed to be able to provide for themselves. That’s why going to the land of milk and honey was a great promise. On their way there, God miraculously provided them with food and water. When God finally gave them the land, they eventually had to work it. As long as they followed God’s commands, He blessed the land to give them a bountiful return. When they strayed, the land lost its fruitfulness. There was economic trouble.

   Do you see the pattern here?  God was in the center of their independence.  God provided for them and taught them how to live as an independent nation.  When they strayed from Him and His commands, they lost their freedom.

   Much like Israel, when our nation was born, we needed a leader to keep us in the right path.  We elected our own presidents.  Our leading forefathers wrote the Constitution to give us structure.  These leaders recognized God’s hand in all of this and submitted and proclaimed us as a nation under God.

   It’s pretty scary that we are little by little changing the Bible-based laws embedded in our Constitution.  We still proclaim ourselves as a nation under God, but do we act like it?  Without God, we wouldn’t be a nation.  Without God, how long, I wonder, can we remain an independent nation?

   Let us pray that God would first of all, open our eyes to our shortcomings as individuals. Maybe in striving to be independent, we’ve forgotten that we still need to be dependent on the God who gave us life.  We need His direction, His structure and His sustenance.

   Then let us pray for our nation that He may help us turn around and go back to following Him wholeheartedly.  With our structure and sustenance being shaky, we need Him to lead us back to being truly independent.

My Concussion Song

Have you ever felt like a helpless child? Like the more you try and fix something, the worse it gets; or the more you try and dig yourself out of a situation, the deeper you get steeped into it?

That’s what it was like for me in the first several months after I had my accident. I would start feeling a little better and act like I was all better, only making me sicker.

When I learned to stop fighting the process that I was going through, and just rest, like I’ve been told to do, then the healing started.

When you learn to rest and submit to the process, then the healing starts.

Resting for a concussion patient means no music, no tv, no reading, no nothing for two to four weeks. Mine was way longer than that. What does that tell you about my resting abilities? I don’t think I’ve ever known what boredom was like until then. It was a very, very, very lonely and frustrating time. (I’ve never craved for human touch as much as I did during that time.)

Yet, I am grateful for that depressing period of my life for the things I learned to appreciate. It was in that season also that God gave me songs of comfort and encouragement. Even though I could not listen to music, I would hear music in my mind and in my dreams, His lullabies for me in my darkest hours.

This is what this new song I have below is about. I hope you enjoy it, be encouraged by it, and if you think it can help someone else, please share it with them.

Blessings,
Christine

4 Things To Do When Anxiety Strikes

I used to not have sympathy for my friend who would text me saying she’s having a panic attack. I know it sounds harsh when I say it like that, but it was the truth. Yes, I would, on occasion respond with a prayer for her, but I cannot deny that I could not understand why this was an issue for her. Growing up as a Christian, I knew that when you are afraid all you had to do was pray so that God would take away your fear.

Yet again, I never understood why I could not fully control my stage fright. Yes, I still played through my recital even when as I tried to control the anxiety, all the fear went straight to my knee, which shook uncontrollably. Many times, my heart would start palpitating and my throat would dry up just before a performance. No matter how much pep talk I gave myself, it would strike just before I get onstage. Afterwards, I’d be thankful for the miracle that I made it through.

I didn’t realize the connection between my stage fright and her panic attacks until I went through a season of anxiety attacks myself, while trying to recover from a concussion. It felt like I had no control, but that it was controlling me and my body.

The worse part was that the anxiety would strike for no apparent reason and it seemed like I was stuck in a hopeless cycle. It wasn’t like I was trying to perform on a stage in front of people. I was simply trying to live in the stage of my own life. Sure, the Xanax and Zoloft helped control the anxiety, but they didn’t really solve the problem. Not only did I learn to sympathize with my friend, but now I can also empathize with her.

It wasn’t until another friend, who is also a counselor, told me that fear comes before the chemical change that I found hope of a way out. I do not presume that this is the only way out of anxiety, but I’d like to share what worked for me in the hope that it might help some of you.

Fear comes before the chemical change. – Daun Whittaker

Before I do so, let me just clarify that I am not a doctor and if your anxiety is out of control, it would be wise to discuss it with your doctor. One thing to check is if you have Vitamin D deficiency and if your body is getting the right nutrients. Cutting out caffeine would probably help, too. Other than those and whatever your doctor recommends, the following has helped me a lot.

When anxiety strikes:

1. Get your body into a relaxing position:
   a.) Lie down with your feet above your heart.

   b.) Take deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. (If lying down is not feasible because of where you are, you’d want to do at least this step to help oxygen make its way back into your brain and help you think more clearly.)

2. Ask yourself:
   a.) What are you afraid of?

   b.) Is it something to be afraid of?
   *I believe that anxiety is one of our bodies’ defense mechanisms, so it does one no good to simply ignore it. (See also http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/) I mean, if the building is on fire, leave the building! It helps to pay attention and figure out where the anxiety is stemming from. True, sometimes it stems from an irrational fear, but I believe that that is because the mind has become weak or traumatized and needs to be retaught what is and is not to be afraid of. Be patient with yourself as this may take time.

3. Remind yourself of the truth.
   a.) In order to do that, I memorised some of the Psalms. Ps 1-6, in particular, were very helpful. This gave me ammunition against the lies of the enemy. This also came from my Uncle telling me that memorizing the Psalms helps heal the mind.

   b.) I would tell myself that there is nothing to be afraid of if there is nothing to be afraid of. If there was an unresolved question in my mind, I would try to find the answer to that question or simply choose to trust that God’s got it under control.

   c.) When my pastor was preaching about Romans 5, he said that it’s not how big or little your faith is, but it’s WHO you put your faith in that saves you. It is the strength of the Savior and not the one being saved that pulls you out of the water onto the lifeboat. So, when fear comes knocking on my door, I remind myself that God is bigger and is the Only One (not my fear) able to resolve the situation, bring salvation for the life that I am afraid of, bring healing & deliverance and provide for my future. So, to Him I look.

It’s not how big or little your faith is, but it’s WHO you put your faith in that saves you. -Pstr. Bill King #anxiety

             4.  Choose not to be afraid/anxious.
– There were times when I would cry out in my mind multiple times, “I will not be afraid of the many thousands who have set themselves against me all around.” (Ps 3:6, paraphrased)

At the peak of my anxiety, these steps were very difficult and didn’t completely get rid of my anxiety, but at least reduced it. As I kept doing them, over time, my fear/s got less and less powerful until I no longer needed the meds. From time to time, anxiety still tries to strike and I just go back to these steps.

“I will not be afraid of many thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around.” #Psalm 3:6

Have you faced anxiety/panic in this magnitude? If so, what has and has not helped you? Please share in the comments so we can learn from you.

From Perfect Storm to Perfect Time

Terminated.

It was like a rock that threatened to keep me pinned down under the rubble of mess I became after the landslide of unfortunate events.

Another label to add to those apparently common for concussion patients, but I could hardly swallow for myself –  anxiety, depression – and now, Terminated.

For about a month or two before the landslide, I had been working a lot of extra hours on a major project at work. I was still there when it got launched. Shortly thereafter was the accident.

I showed Mr. and Mrs. C the letter I received.  “I didn’t even know they could do this.” I sadly told my friends who had taken me into their home because I could hardly take care of myself.  Taking a shower alone was such a chore.  The small lamp Mr. C set up in the bathroom were kinder to my photosensitive eyes than the installed fluorescent lights.  I had to wear earplugs since the high frequencies, such as the water flowing out of the showerhead and the sound of the blow dryer, were like the screeching of nails against a chalkboard.  Everything was so fatiguing, I would sit down on the bathroom floor to stop and rest before getting dressed, and then again before blow drying my hair.

Terminated.

It was the last ingredient for the perfect storm and made it difficult to rest, the very thing I needed to recuperate.

It not only meant the end of a six-year employment, but also the end of health insurance coverage unless I opted in to continue with the highly expensive COBRA.

Or so I thought.

Even though it was hard to understand at the beginning, God knew exactly what He was doing.  As it turned out, the termination letter I received could not have come at a more perfect time.  It became the key that would get me the health coverage I needed that would stop my medical bills from piling up and help me get relief.  And as my situation lingered, I even found out that they would cover my rides to medical appointments so I didn’t have to keep bothering friends and worry about where to get the help I needed.

After being out for twelve weeks, there was still no telling how soon I’d be well enough to get back to work, so it was completely understandable that my employer had to let me go. The heartbreaking letter soon enough became a relief that I did not have to worry about hurrying up to get better so I can get back to work.  As I’ve been told numerous times, the brain and the body takes time to heal.  Rushing was only working against me.

I could tell you other reasons why this doom and gloom letter turned out to be a blessing, but it’s time to transition to you.

Have you ever received news that spelled doom and gloom, which turned out to be the best news for that time?

What Empathy Is and What It Is Not

English Lessons

I went hiking with a friend a few weeks ago and learned a lot about empathy. I learned a lot about it from myself, who was not being very empathetic. My friend was sharing a really hard thing with me and I kept chiming in with examples from my own life. Something deep down inside of me was saying, “Stop doing that. You’re not helping.” But I couldn’t. I just kept sharing my own stories, diminishing and quieting hers.

I really was trying to be a good friend. I was trying to be an empathetic friend, but what my friend really needed from me that day was to shut up and listen.

Empathy is a tricky thing. I used to think I was really good at it, but over the years I’ve realized I’m lacking in this area quite a bit. I’ve come across some incredibly empathetic people in the…

View original post 475 more words