A Touch-y Subject

Have you ever resisted the urge to hug someone, because for some reason or another you were ashamed to do so?  You automatically think of alibis even though your intention is pure and out of genuine care and love for a friend, even a stranger?  I’m sure, at one time or another, I have.

In fact, I had to go through  a short season in my teenage years, where being hugged by a friend and churchmate felt really awkward.  Yet, she kept doing it so I decided I just had to get used to it.

The strange part is that touch is very common in our family.  We hugged each other all the time and I never went through a phase where I was ashamed to kiss my Mom and Dad or even hold their hands in public.  I still do it as an adult!

Maybe it’s because we hear so many negative things about human touch that some of us steer clear of them until we know a person well enough to not hide how much we care.  (Especially at work, where who knows who is going to sue you for what?)

In Dr. Caroline Leaf’s blog post on “Toxic Touch As Part of the ‘Dirty Dozen,'” she states, “A human connection is one of the most important elements in living in community with one another. However, toxic touch turns what is supposed to be a healing and healthy human connection into an ugly area of gift-blocking.”

When you see the words toxic and touch put together, it’s easy to conclude that it only refers to inappropriate touch; but that’s only one side of the coin.

She also states, “We know how hurtful abuse can be, when touch is harmful. And that is never, ever acceptable. But sometimes we don’t realize that another aspect of toxic touch is actually the lack of touch.”

“…sometimes we don’t realize that another aspect of toxic touch is actually the lack of touch.” -#DrCarolineLeaf

“In fact, just as inappropriate touch affects our gift, the lack of touch (called ‘cutaneous deprivation’) will also affect our gifts through toxic emotions, thoughts and choices. Even physical growth and the immune system are weakened.”

Wow!

I have never felt the need for touch as much as I did during the first several months of my recovering from a concussion.  I was so sensitive to noise and light that I couldn’t watch TV, read a book and using my phone was kept to a minimal as it was difficult.  Even conversations were taxing.  Some folks didn’t want to bother me, because I needed rest; which was true.

But I also needed touch, someone to hold my hand or give me a hug, even for just a few seconds or a minute.  Someone to help me feel alive even if I was hardly capable of any activity.  At one point, I felt so deprived of human touch that when I ended up in the ER for the third time since my accident and the doctor had me reach for his finger as part of the routine test of my nervous system, I reached for that finger like it was my lifeline.  In my mind, I was relieved to have a finger to hold even for a second!

A few months later, during one of my terrible setbacks, a friend came by to visit.  Seeing the terrible state I was in and that I could hardly talk, she held my hand for a long time and then proceeded to prepare us some dinner.  We didn’t have to have a long talk.  Her touch and her presence alone was such a blessing, it gave me hope.  And for the other ones that have given me a hug here and there and held my hand, I am very thankful and grateful.  You don’t know what a difference you’ve made in my life.

The truth is, everyone needs a hug from time to time, whether it’s someone you haven’t seen in a long time, or someone you see every day.  If your intentions are pure, and especially if you feel the Holy Spirit leading you, go ahead and give that hug.  It may be the very thing that person needs to go on with life.

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The 2 Top Priorities in Life

You know that moment when you think that you’re at the end of your life and all the things you know you’re supposed to do haven’t been done yet?  All of a sudden, you find yourself squirming to God, “Okay, okay, I’ll do that thing you’ve been asking me to do.”

And if that isn’t enough to rise you up from what seems to be your deathbed, you start haggling with God for more time?

“But I haven’t finished that book yet!”  Meaning the one you’ve been ignoring for the past year and a half.

Or

“I still have songs to write, record and sing.  Who’s going to sing the songs I have written?”  Like you’re some da Vinci of music when there are a million out there who write and sing better than you do.

It’s a bit funny really to think like you’re some kind of special character that’s supposed to give a contribution to humanity when you’ve wasted a lot of time on unimportant things or maybe important things, but not the ones God has assigned to you.

I’m not saying you are not special, but that you are not more special than another.  You are limited.  Your time is limited and could, in fact, be up any minute.

If the question you find yourself asking when you think your life is at a balance is “Is this it?  Surely this is not the end of my life?” you know you have not yet lived a full life.

If you find yourself asking “Is this it? Surely this is not the end of my life?” you know you have not yet lived a full life.

Even though a part of you knows God can use anyone to write the same message or songs you think you were meant to write, (or fill in the blank as to what applies to you), a part of you still wants to know that you’ve made some kind of dent in history, that your life was not a waste.

In that moment, you realize what are really most important.  I mean, you kind of knew before, but now you know for sure.  Suddenly, priorities line up and God becomes so much bigger and ultimately the Only One you truly need.  Money and things hardly matter.  Even an introvert and a loner craves being with people, somebody, anybody.  When the distractions of TV, computer, phones, books and capabilities are taken away, God and people become top priority.

No wonder the Ten Commandments can be summed up to loving God and loving people! (Matt. 22:37-40; Luke 10:27)

If you haven’t come face to face with the possibility of your life ending any minute, don’t wait until a life-threatening or a debilitating accident wakes you up from your cruise-controlled life.  Trust me, it ain’t fun.

You may think you know your priorities, but in reality, the use of your time show what you truly prioritize.

Now is the time to have a talk with the Holy Spirit and allow Him to work His priorities in your life.

In truth, even a tragedy does not guarantee you will change your ways permanently.  Only the Holy Spirit can help us keep our priorities straight.  I know, because once you start feeling better, it’s easy to go back into cruise control and stop fighting to do what is best in the time entrusted to you.

Would you pray for me in this regard as I pray also that God would give you a clear direction as to the best use of the time He has given you on earth?

WOULD YOU GO TO HELL FOR SOMEONE ELSE?

Would you, literally, utterly and sincerely, be willing to go to hell for or with someone?

Would you go to hell for someone else?

What kind of question is that? You might ask.

People die for one another, or for a nation, or for a cause. But would someone willingly give their place in hell for the sake of another?  Or would someone identify with someone else’s sin and choose to be with someone in hell rather than with God in heaven.

I was reading Exodus 32 and realized the depth of Moses’ request from God in verse 32. “‘But now, if Thou wilt forgive their sin – and if not, blot me, I pray Thee from Thy book which Thou hast written.'” (RSV, 1952) 

Israel had just turned their backs on the God that delivered them out of the hand of the Egyptians. They exchanged Him for a lifeless golden calf, something even less than a human being.

Moses, being the savior-type that he is, offered to be removed from God’s book of life for these ungrateful people if God will not forgive them. On one hand, it is admirable. You can see his dedication to those he was leading.  He was willing to go down with them.

On the other hand, he was not perfect.  He did not qualify as savior nor could he be the atonement for these people. That was not his calling.  Going to hell for and with them would not do any good.

In verse 33 & 34 it says, “But the Lord said to Moses, ‘Whoever has sinned against me, I will blot out of my book. But now go, lead the people to the place about which I have spoken to you…'”

His calling was to lead and teach them God’s statutes here on earth. Their eternal salvation was up to God.

There is only One Savior and Atonement – Jesus Christ.

It is not you. It is not I.

Yes, let’s evangelize, intercede, and lead people to the River of Life; but rest assured that we don’t have to take anyone’s place in hell.

Jesus already did. And hell couldn’t hold Him, so He now sits at the right hand of the Father.

4 DEMANDS OF INDEPENDENCE

4 DEMANDS OF INDEPENDENCE

From birth to old age, there is always the nagging desire to be INDEPENDENT.

Babies, for instance, do not have a concept of other people’s schedules.  In the very first few weeks, they are independent in the sense that you can’t control their feeding or pooping times.

When babies become children, they can’t wait until they can do things on their own.

Teenagers can’t wait until they become adults, independent of their parents.

At some point adulthood brings the rude awakening of responsibility.  So, they start saving up and waiting for the time when they retire so that they can do whatever they want, whenever they want, wherever they want.

Why do we have this nagging feeling?  I think it’s because we quite often, and rightly so, equate independence to freedom.  The problem arises when we focus on highlighting freedom and not balancing it out with the demands of independence.

The problem arises when we focus on highlighting freedom and not balancing it out with the demands of independence.

Look at the rise of the Indie industry, for instance.  You’ve got your Indie artists, Indie authors, Indie films, and I’ll mix into that your solopreneurs.  Who knows what other types of Indies are out there?  On the outside, it looks like this makes it possible for anybody to get into whatever industry they want.  There are no music labels, publishers, corporations, nor bosses to please.  However, on the inside, there are a multitude of demands to be fulfilled to get you onto a successful road.  You don’t have the resources, expertise, connections, etc., that the bigger corporations have.  So you can appreciate the ones that have been very successful as Indies as you know there’s been a lot of hard work that brought them to where they are.

It’s the same with an independent nation.  This weekend, we are celebrating the 239^th year of America’s independence from Great Britain.  When this nation was born, we weren’t very wealthy, but a lot of work was put in by our forefathers to make us a successful nation.

With that in mind, I’d like to reflect on the independence of the nation of Israel from Egypt centuries prior.  What did it take for them to form a new nation, independent of her 400 year master?  What were the demands of their independence?

1. Someone to followRemember when Moses went up the mountain and he was there so many days? They felt lost without their leader. In Exodus 31:1 they told Aaron, “…’Come make us a god who will go before us; as for this Moses, the man who brought us up from the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.’” (NAS)

   Not only that, you’ve got Judges 21:25 telling us that “In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.” This was many years into their being an independent nation in the Promised Land.

   They needed someone that could show them they didn’t have to be slaves forever. God had other plans for them and they needed someone to lead them the way to the Promised Land.

2. Someone/something to worshipWhen they lost sight of their leader, they also lost sight of the God that delivered them with a mighty hand out of Egypt. A lifeless golden calf was no comparison to the One who parted the Red Sea for them, but they were desperate for someone or something to call their leader and worship as their god.

   In the course of their history, there were times when they either worshipped God or worshipped other gods. Either way, they were always worshipping Someone or something. In other words, they knew that they needed a power outside of themselves to keep them safe, healthy and make them prosper. When they turned their backs from God and attributed that power to other gods, they faced calamities and disasters. Eventually, they were brought into captivity and lost their independence.

3. Structure They needed laws to maintain peace and order. These God gave to them in the very beginning of their nationhood. When they strayed away from them, they got into trouble.
4. SustenanceAs an independent nation, they needed to be able to provide for themselves. That’s why going to the land of milk and honey was a great promise. On their way there, God miraculously provided them with food and water. When God finally gave them the land, they eventually had to work it. As long as they followed God’s commands, He blessed the land to give them a bountiful return. When they strayed, the land lost its fruitfulness. There was economic trouble.

   Do you see the pattern here?  God was in the center of their independence.  God provided for them and taught them how to live as an independent nation.  When they strayed from Him and His commands, they lost their freedom.

   Much like Israel, when our nation was born, we needed a leader to keep us in the right path.  We elected our own presidents.  Our leading forefathers wrote the Constitution to give us structure.  These leaders recognized God’s hand in all of this and submitted and proclaimed us as a nation under God.

   It’s pretty scary that we are little by little changing the Bible-based laws embedded in our Constitution.  We still proclaim ourselves as a nation under God, but do we act like it?  Without God, we wouldn’t be a nation.  Without God, how long, I wonder, can we remain an independent nation?

   Let us pray that God would first of all, open our eyes to our shortcomings as individuals. Maybe in striving to be independent, we’ve forgotten that we still need to be dependent on the God who gave us life.  We need His direction, His structure and His sustenance.

   Then let us pray for our nation that He may help us turn around and go back to following Him wholeheartedly.  With our structure and sustenance being shaky, we need Him to lead us back to being truly independent.

4 Things To Do When Anxiety Strikes

I used to not have sympathy for my friend who would text me saying she’s having a panic attack. I know it sounds harsh when I say it like that, but it was the truth. Yes, I would, on occasion respond with a prayer for her, but I cannot deny that I could not understand why this was an issue for her. Growing up as a Christian, I knew that when you are afraid all you had to do was pray so that God would take away your fear.

Yet again, I never understood why I could not fully control my stage fright. Yes, I still played through my recital even when as I tried to control the anxiety, all the fear went straight to my knee, which shook uncontrollably. Many times, my heart would start palpitating and my throat would dry up just before a performance. No matter how much pep talk I gave myself, it would strike just before I get onstage. Afterwards, I’d be thankful for the miracle that I made it through.

I didn’t realize the connection between my stage fright and her panic attacks until I went through a season of anxiety attacks myself, while trying to recover from a concussion. It felt like I had no control, but that it was controlling me and my body.

The worse part was that the anxiety would strike for no apparent reason and it seemed like I was stuck in a hopeless cycle. It wasn’t like I was trying to perform on a stage in front of people. I was simply trying to live in the stage of my own life. Sure, the Xanax and Zoloft helped control the anxiety, but they didn’t really solve the problem. Not only did I learn to sympathize with my friend, but now I can also empathize with her.

It wasn’t until another friend, who is also a counselor, told me that fear comes before the chemical change that I found hope of a way out. I do not presume that this is the only way out of anxiety, but I’d like to share what worked for me in the hope that it might help some of you.

Fear comes before the chemical change. – Daun Whittaker

Before I do so, let me just clarify that I am not a doctor and if your anxiety is out of control, it would be wise to discuss it with your doctor. One thing to check is if you have Vitamin D deficiency and if your body is getting the right nutrients. Cutting out caffeine would probably help, too. Other than those and whatever your doctor recommends, the following has helped me a lot.

When anxiety strikes:

1. Get your body into a relaxing position:
   a.) Lie down with your feet above your heart.

   b.) Take deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth. (If lying down is not feasible because of where you are, you’d want to do at least this step to help oxygen make its way back into your brain and help you think more clearly.)

2. Ask yourself:
   a.) What are you afraid of?

   b.) Is it something to be afraid of?
   *I believe that anxiety is one of our bodies’ defense mechanisms, so it does one no good to simply ignore it. (See also http://anxietynomore.co.uk/blog/) I mean, if the building is on fire, leave the building! It helps to pay attention and figure out where the anxiety is stemming from. True, sometimes it stems from an irrational fear, but I believe that that is because the mind has become weak or traumatized and needs to be retaught what is and is not to be afraid of. Be patient with yourself as this may take time.

3. Remind yourself of the truth.
   a.) In order to do that, I memorised some of the Psalms. Ps 1-6, in particular, were very helpful. This gave me ammunition against the lies of the enemy. This also came from my Uncle telling me that memorizing the Psalms helps heal the mind.

   b.) I would tell myself that there is nothing to be afraid of if there is nothing to be afraid of. If there was an unresolved question in my mind, I would try to find the answer to that question or simply choose to trust that God’s got it under control.

   c.) When my pastor was preaching about Romans 5, he said that it’s not how big or little your faith is, but it’s WHO you put your faith in that saves you. It is the strength of the Savior and not the one being saved that pulls you out of the water onto the lifeboat. So, when fear comes knocking on my door, I remind myself that God is bigger and is the Only One (not my fear) able to resolve the situation, bring salvation for the life that I am afraid of, bring healing & deliverance and provide for my future. So, to Him I look.

It’s not how big or little your faith is, but it’s WHO you put your faith in that saves you. -Pstr. Bill King #anxiety

             4.  Choose not to be afraid/anxious.
– There were times when I would cry out in my mind multiple times, “I will not be afraid of the many thousands who have set themselves against me all around.” (Ps 3:6, paraphrased)

At the peak of my anxiety, these steps were very difficult and didn’t completely get rid of my anxiety, but at least reduced it. As I kept doing them, over time, my fear/s got less and less powerful until I no longer needed the meds. From time to time, anxiety still tries to strike and I just go back to these steps.

“I will not be afraid of many thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around.” #Psalm 3:6

Have you faced anxiety/panic in this magnitude? If so, what has and has not helped you? Please share in the comments so we can learn from you.

How to Get From Here to There (Part 3)

We’re continuing our discussion on the AAA’s of how to get from here to there, wherever your there may be.  In Part 1, we’ve talked about making an assessment. In Part 2, we talked about accepting the fact that you need help. Now it’s time to ATTACK!

I know how life can be overwhelming… Overwhelming to the point of exhaustion when you’d hardly done anything physical.

For some of you, you wake up dreading the day ahead of you. You’ve made wrong decisions and you’re having a dilemma on how to fix them with the resulting consequences looming in the background.

Life may have thrown you a curve ball and you don’t know how to respond.

I’m not asking you to take on the world and conquer all your fears all at one go.

What I am suggesting is making ground one inch at a time.

In order to do this, you need to lay down your burdens and surrender them to Jesus. Make a determination to carry only those things that will help and not make life too heavy.

Now that’s easy to say, but hard to do for many of us, especially when you’re so used to taking care of things on your own. You want to have all the answers. You want to fix your own problems. You want to be in control.

What if I say that God has something better to give you in exchange?

He wants to give you the Holy Spirit.

While Jesus is our salvation, the Holy Spirit is the help we need to be able to face the challenges of life. He guides us into all truth. (John 16:13)

In fact, if you turn your focus from your problem to the Holy Spirit, He will give you strength to lay your burdens down and clarity as to what the next step should be for you.

Sometimes, these burdens have a way of creeping back onto your shoulders and you’ll just have to keep turning to the Holy Spirit and laying those burdens down.

Even the Holy Spirit knows that you can’t get it altogether at once. That’s why He doesn’t say, “Okay, I’ve told you what you need to do, so you’re on your own.” Rather, He is there to provide the strength for you to do what He is guiding you to do as long as you’re willing to follow His guidance.

When you fail and you repent and turn back to Him, He is there to bring you comfort and strength to get back up and try again.

With His strength, you can attack both the little and the big things, one inch at a time.

I pray that you would be filled with the Holy Spirit today and always. Amen.

Love,

Christine

P.S. Whether you are a new believer in Christ or have been one for a very long time, you constantly need the infilling of the Holy Spirit. To know more about the Holy Spirit and the power and strength He provides, I would recommend E. Stanley Jones’ devotional, The Way to Power and Poise.

DOUBT IS A KILLER

Thanks to my brother, this will be one of my mottos. We were texting the other day and he was asking how I was feeling. I relayed to him that I think that the exercises that my PT was giving me was already been helping. Here’s his response:

I was not offended by his text. I was in fact, encouraged. You see, I have not known solid ground in probably over 6 months. I am not at sea, but I have a constant sensation of either swaying like being on a boat or spinning like a toy top. When my dizziness was at its worst, I literally felt like I was in a ferris wheel or on a fast train heading west. I know it’s hard to imagine, and I would not believe that it was possible to be constantly dizzy, except I am going through it day and night.

It all really started when I had an accident over a year ago that resulted in a concussion and occipital neuralgia. The first major setback I had was when I had started feeling better a few months after my accident. My doctor released me to try and start working part time. The first attempt wasn’t successful, so I rested for another week and then attempted again. Towards the end of my second half day, I was finishing up a phone call when weakness overcame me. I literally felt like a computer that crashed. After resting for a couple of hours, I somehow managed to drive myself home, but knew that something was wrong. I remember trying to eat the tilapia that my mom had prepared for dinner, and suddenly feeling so weak and unable to eat. (I didn’t know it then, but later on found out how bad my eyes were affected that just picking the flesh out of the fish’s sides was too much of a chore.) It took about three weeks to start feeling better again after that.

That wasn’t the end of it though. I could tell of multiple other setbacks – some due to my own foolishness/ignorance- that left me so traumatized, I felt like I couldn’t do anything that would not cause any setback. Needless to say, I can find so many good reasons to DOUBT and say I am just never going to recover. Yet, if I look on the other end of each setback, I can say that the Lord has seen me through each one of them. He has brought me this far, and “…He who began a good work in (me) will carry it on to completion…” (Phil. 1:6, NIV) The fact that I am now able to write this blog, having gone through several months of not being able to use a computer without great difficulty, is a miracle in itself. So, I must not doubt, but must believe. Doubt only leads to fear, fear to anxiety, and anxiety impales me even further. I may feel like a small turtle trying to swim my way to shore that is out of my view, but I know that the God who sees everything is leading me there little by little. I know this because the waves are getting smaller and smaller.

Why Celebrate Life

There is not one human being that would not readily find a reason to despise life and be all depressed about it.  There is not one soul that is not scarred nor marred in one way or another;  not one soul that is not at some point hit by a wall of darkness, enveloped in, and blinded to any way out.  So, I realize that for some, it would be insulting for me to say, “Celebrate your life!”

Why should one constantly faced by hardship and trials celebrate life?

First, you need to know that there is an invitation for you to enter a new life.  In John 10:9, Jesus says, “I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in an out, and find pasture.”  “..If any man…” tells us that the invitation is for everyone.   The second half of the following verse also tells us that this life is one that you can celebrate: “I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.”  The Christian life is often misconstrued as living life walking on eggshells, boxed in by walls of do’s and dont’s. This kind of living steals the joy out of true Christianity, burns you out, and may eventually kill the relationship you are trying to preserve if not corrected in time. On the other hand, it is a joyful thing to do good and not evil when it blossoms out of a loving relationship with Christ just as sacrifice is sweet when endured for the sake of a loved one.

Second, once you enter in, know that food has been set on the table for you by our host, Jesus Christ, also known as the Good Shepherd. Psalm 23 displays what the Good Shepherd has set on the table for us: provision for our needs, what is healthy for us; restoration for our souls; peace through the valley of the shadow of death; protection; abundance that overflows; goodness and mercy for each day. It is true that our troubles in this life won’t go away, but Christ’s provision gives us the strength to face them and makes us stronger at the end of each trial.  Furthermore, it is no secret that our Host has the gift of eternal life for all who accept His invitation and join the celebration. This gift is the punch and cake that does not run out.  For those who receive it, death is an entrance to a better world and not some last hurrah before you go to hell.  It makes this temporal life worth the trouble.

Finally, a celebration is not complete without the reason for the celebration, the Good Shepherd Himself who laid down His life for us, the sheep, that we may be saved.  Heroes are celebrated, because they gave up their lives for the good of a nation.  Christ is more than a hero.  He became a man, died and rose again, not only that we could have a new life here on earth, but also eternal life in heaven with Him.

If you wish to accept Christ’s invitation to a new life worth celebrating, pray the following prayer: “Lord Jesus, I realize that I am a sinner doomed to destruction.  Please forgive me of my sins.  Be my Lord and Savior.  Take over everything I do. Thank you for giving me a new life. In Your Name, AMEN.”  If you prayed this prayer, please send me a note at olivetupe@live.com.

Correction, please?

I never enjoyed checking essays and reports when I was a teacher, not because I didn’t like reading what students had to say, but because I could be very meticulous about the mechanics of writing that it would take me forever to get them done.  Then, there was the trouble of making sure I judged all the papers the same way, which called for going back and forth between those who had about the same amount of errors. This is where the wrestling in my mind began, trying to account for this and that; and it just was not fun. Needless to say, after two years of teaching, I avoided situations and vocations where I would have to judge someone else’ work or performance.

Yeah, right!

Eight years later, I’m in the world of banking where five plus five equals ten, not a penny less, not a penny more; and I find myself having to point out to individuals mistakes in forms they turn in or to vendors errors in their performance.  Now, before you tune me out, understand that I am not trying to complain.  I have come to realize that no matter where I go or what I end up doing for a living, correction is always a necessary ingredient.  I need correction from time to time. So do you.  When I hear somebody say, “Thank you for showing my mistake and pointing me in the right direction,” then I know it’s not just about me.  It’s also about that person, for the good of that person.  Plus, it saves everybody time the next time around since that individual knows what to do.

One day I was singing my heart out as I was playing my guitar when my brother pointed out that I was singing out of tune.  He told me that I should listen to the guitar and sing in tune with it.  That was one brief comment that opened my ears and changed my singing life forever. Yes, sometimes it hurts to receive correction, but if it weren’t for the people that cared enough to point out my mistakes or show me a better way, my life would not be good.  So, to them, I say, “Thank you!”

Can you recall an incident in your life where someone gave you correction that changed an aspect of your life forever? …care to share?

IS THERE MORE TO AN ACCIDENT?

     Saturday, I tripped over a bin I was using for some rearranging I was doing in my house.  I fell, my knee hitting real hard against the heat register on the floor.  I was shocked for a moment, feeling pain surging through my body, wasn’t sure if I should move.  I finally managed to stand up, but was feeling really light-headed and it was only getting worse.  Thoughts were running through my mind, as I was trying to fight the fear that was also trying to overtake.

     “Should I call 911?”

“What if I just pass out over here and no one would know?”

“I should stay standing. That will probably help.”

I was getting short-breathed and hot, feeling like I needed air and water. It did not help that it was also a hot day.  I reached for the fan in the window that was facing outward and turned it towards me, forgetting that it was holding the window open, causing the window to shut. The little residue of skunk smell that I have been trying to get out of the house blew against my face and I knew after a couple of seconds that this was not going to help.  I managed to limp down the stairs trying to get to the kitchen, but was losing control of my body, I had to stop and lean against a chair in the dining room.  I finally called my uncle, who lives about seven minutes away, to let him know what had happened and that I was feeling like I was going to pass out. He asked if I needed help.  I said that I do and he said that he will be to coming over.

I sat on the chair I was leaning on and it felt like my spirit was leaving my body as I was starting to lose consciousness.  I thought for a moment, “What if this is it? What if this is the end?” I was praying that God would forgive me, that my life would not be over, that I would be able to do what He created me to do.”  I don’t remember exactly what I was telling God, but it was something like “I want to serve you with my life.  I want to serve you with my life.”  The interesting part was while I was saying it in my thoughts, I was also thinking, “Do not lie. Mean what you’re saying.”  It was like I was saying, “I want to serve you with my life,” but knew that I was holding back on the one thing that keeps me from serving him fully.  I knew that I was not ready to meet God face to face, because I had not done what he created me to do.

I felt so helpless and really needed some air. I forced myself to get up and go back to the living room and sit in front of a small fan.  The air blowing against my sweaty body made it cold enough for me to slowly recover.  My uncle finally arrived and got me some water and ice, and helped me.  He stayed a while  until I felt confident enough that I was going to be okay.

I was planning on sharing this story in order to point out how accidents are normal occurrences in life that cannot be avoided. I wanted to tell you that it’s okay, that you don’t need to be too hard on yourself, over-thinking on how you could have prevented it.  I am not negating the fact that there are accidents that could have been avoided if not for somebody’s foolishness; but there are some accidents that simply cannot be avoided until the next time, after we have learned from our mistakes.  Regardless, accidents are accidents.

Anyhow, in the process of telling this story, I was reminded of the small encounter I had with the possibility of my life ending abruptly. Even if you think it to be an exaggerated reaction on my part, it is how it felt like.  Thus, a more apt observation presents itself. More than accidents being normal occurrences, what if they are one of God’s ways that He uses to catch our attention, refocus our lives, and remind us of what is important?  Furthermore, could they be one of His methods of awakening us to the reality of our helplessness by ourselves and of our misunderstanding of how much time we have left to live our lives to the fullest for His glory?  I believe so.  Accidents, either ones that have happened to us or someone close to us, cause a pause in our day-to-day routines, allowing us to see things in a different dimension, if we permit ourselves.  An accident need not be a waste if we ask and listen to what God is trying to tell us.

What has been your most eye-opening accident?  In hind site, do you think your life was changed for the good because of it?  Why?